{"id":121,"date":"2016-07-24T15:01:26","date_gmt":"2016-07-24T15:01:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/?p=121"},"modified":"2016-07-24T15:01:26","modified_gmt":"2016-07-24T15:01:26","slug":"about-donations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/?p=121","title":{"rendered":"About Donations"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I had yet another conversation with an older woman, living alone, abandoned by her family and struggling to make ends meet. \u00a0She told me that she never tells anyone how bad her financial situation is, because it’s embarrassing and because people don’t care anyway. \u00a0I get that. \u00a0I live it. \u00a0I have known this woman for decades, and knew her when she wasn’t<\/em> poor and had family around her…when she had ‘something to give’. \u00a0A lot of something, in fact. \u00a0That’s the magic variable: Something to give.<\/p>\n

I told you a long time ago, love is parasitic. \u00a0That sounds bitter and pathetic, doesn’t it? \u00a0hahaha. \u00a0But it’s not. \u00a0It’s the cold, harsh reality. \u00a0Love is all about what you can GET from somebody else. \u00a0That’s not Biblical, but it’s our new reality. \u00a0Sad. \u00a0I have studied this phenomenon from the inside and sometimes I chuckle. \u00a0I am amused at the unadulterated truth about life and how fooled we are. \u00a0We try to make things seem pretty and fair and safe and morally superior. \u00a0But the unadulterated truth is this: \u00a0It’s about what I<\/strong> can get from YOU. \u00a0<\/strong>No really. \u00a0Before you shake your head in disbelief, THINK about it. \u00a0Really think about your loved one and how you would react if you couldn’t get what you want from him\/her. \u00a0I warn you; the truth hurts until you get used to it. \u00a0When you see that the ’emperor’ is really naked, it makes you laugh sometimes, at the games we play.<\/p>\n

It is pathetic and socially heartbreaking that we claim to be such a great, wealthy nation and yet we treat a huge part of our citizenry as worthless. \u00a0We are NOT worthless and we are NOT invisible. \u00a0But we are also not one of the “defined” minorities who demand to be taken care of, about whom the bleeding hearts talk a lot but do little. \u00a0We can’t garner votes…nor have babies to guarantee a monthly check. \u00a0We’re not sexual anymore and we can’t hand over our paycheck. \u00a0So…society at large \u00a0wishes us to be invisible, because this way, people do not have to understand that love and care are both verbs<\/em> as well as nouns. \u00a0Verbs, by the way, imply ACTION. Too complicated for you? \u00a0Well there you go.<\/p>\n

As fate would have it, I also got a comment \u00a0on my blog yesterday about not having a ‘donate’ button on my blog site. \u00a0This reader would have donated to the cause of thrown away wives. \u00a0I never meet this person, but I know her. \u00a0I know her character and it is rare and precious. \u00a0This reader has “the care gene”, that rare and precious character trait that is fading from society and which, by the way, makes you a target for parasites who will use you and throw you away. \u00a0Anyway, the truth is, I don’t know how to manage online donations. \u00a0Her idea is a good one, and I have contemplated starting a non-profit organization just to help older abandoned women…the ones society deems worthless. \u00a0Maybe one day I can figure that out.<\/p>\n

But here’s the thing. \u00a0And this is something I and the thrown away woman spoke about yesterday. \u00a0It should be NO surprise to people that older women are alone, often abandoned and struggling financially, if people only paid attention. \u00a0We are not “of childbearing years”. \u00a0That’s society’s veiled way of saying we are not sexually attractive anymore and therefore we are useless. \u00a0I know. \u00a0For God’s sake that’s harsh. \u00a0Well, if you have a brain that works, do your own research and face reality if you dare. \u00a0But that, folks, is THE one big reason we are invisible. If you are of child bearing years, you won’t believe it, and if you are past child bearing years, you are now invisible. \u00a0Welcome.<\/p>\n

We are EVERYWHERE, the \u00a0unseen thrown away. \u00a0Most people do not care, But once in a while a person passes us who DOES see us, who does get it. \u00a0And here’s something you guys can do…all three of you. \u00a0Go to the bank and take out three one hundred dollar bills. Or two. \u00a0Or one. \u00a0Buy a card and put the money in it. \u00a0Mail that card with money to one of the thrown away women YOU KNOW. \u00a0Because I know you know many of us. \u00a0I PROMISE you she needs it and I promise you the result of that action will be disproportionately huge from YOUR perspective. \u00a0To you, three one hundred dollars bills is nothing; to her, it means she can buy groceries this month. \u00a0And to her, it means for a brief moment somebody ACTUALLY SAW her. \u00a0That might even be more important than grocery money. \u00a0Here’s an idea: \u00a0Do it anonymously. \u00a0That’s how its supposed to be.<\/p>\n

Want to hear something you won’t believe? \u00a0We throw-aways ROUTINELY give to one another; we sacrifice, say, eating meat for a week, in order to give that value to a throw away who might not have grocery money at ALL. \u00a0We sacrifice even when it hurts. \u00a0And, do you remember me saying that it is precisely because of that element of our character that we were targeted by the users who bled us dry and thew us away? \u00a0We are compassionate and generous. \u00a0Isn’t that interesting? she said, being facetious.<\/p>\n

Listen, I can’t afford to give anybody anything, yet I do. \u00a0And yet there are those less fortunate than I. \u00a0I live in a home. \u00a0I have a friend who, until just last week, lived in a bedroom<\/em>. \u00a0I’ve done that. \u00a0It’s amazing that a bedroom is enough, but when you are worthless and invisible, it is. \u00a0In fact it is a gracious PLENTY. \u00a0This woman just moved into her own apartment, with no furniture<\/strong>. \u00a0She was as thrilled as if she had bought a palace. \u00a0All I had to do was mention in my church group that she would appreciate used furniture donations and before you know it, she had living room and dining room furniture. \u00a0Just like that. \u00a0Imagine. \u00a0Others’ old furniture became her “home”. \u00a0That’s how it works. \u00a0Oh. \u00a0And she has a son. \u00a0Who could have bought her furniture. \u00a0Just thought I’d throw that in.<\/p>\n

Before I get off of my soapbox, let me add this. \u00a0We WORK. \u00a0We don’t lounge around waiting for a check to show up. \u00a0We don’t do drugs, we don’t stand on the corner begging. \u00a0We have JOBS. \u00a0And I said jobs, plural. \u00a0Like I said in my book, I worked THREE jobs at once in order to survive. \u00a0Many throw-aways work multiple jobs. \u00a0MOST work multiple jobs. \u00a0So we’re not sitting around on the pity pot. \u00a0But we are still human beings who deserve to at least be seen. \u00a0And I will add this again. \u00a0Love is a verb. \u00a0You don’t have to be an anonymous donor to make a difference. \u00a0You know people who need help. \u00a0Help them. \u00a0And let me add, finally. \u00a0God bless the ones who DO see us, and who do reach out. \u00a0We could NOT have made it without them.<\/p>\n

I just had an idea. \u00a0Adopt a throw away. \u00a0Our families don’t want us. \u00a0But I, for example, am a grandmother. I have grandkids I never get to see because I’m invisible, you see. \u00a0But \u00a0I’d like to actually practice being a grandparent. \u00a0Any spare families out there? \u00a0Something to think about…for another blog.<\/p>\n

Homework: \u00a0Find a throw away. \u00a0Donate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday I had yet another conversation with an older woman, living alone, abandoned by her family and struggling to make ends meet. \u00a0She told me that she never tells anyone how bad her financial situation is, because it’s embarrassing and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[10,2,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=121"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":122,"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions\/122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thrownawaywives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}