There is another obstacle thrown away women face and which I haven’t really talked about: Anger. \u00a0For some of us it remains just below the surface and for others it rages right out in the open for everyone to see. \u00a0I think most of us are overtly angry once we come out of the shock stage and that’s to be expected. \u00a0It makes sense, and it’s one of the stages of grief, which is also experienced when the marriage ends. \u00a0But the kind of anger I’m talking about here is the kind that rears up and sticks to you and changes you.<\/p>\n
I went through what I called my “primal scream” phase, where I felt as though I was pulling back on the reigns of anger all the time, just to keep it from running away with me. \u00a0At times it was hard to control, but I thought if I let the scream out it would never stop. \u00a0That passed, of course, but I still feel buried anger. It rises up every time I can’t afford a doctor when I’m sick, or I need clothes and can’t buy them. \u00a0I didn’t sign up for this, and would never have been in this situation had I not met my ex. \u00a0I get angry when I think about how much better off I’d be now, had I never let him into my life. I know. \u00a0Water under the bridge and all that.<\/p>\n
But the thing is, there are some women who let this anger rule their life. \u00a0They come apart at the seams and it is apparent to everyone observing them that the wheels are OFF. \u00a0But these angry women don’t care. \u00a0They choose to scream and stomp and swing the anger around like a weapon. \u00a0Thing is, this weapon hurts nobody but them because everybody else can leave.<\/p>\n
I was thinking about one of those women today as I drove home. \u00a0This person is attractive and smart, has a good sense of humor, used to be a pleasure to be around. \u00a0But when the wheels came off, all anybody could do was run. \u00a0I have rarely seen such venomous behavior, and thought I was witnessing someone actually going crazy.<\/p>\n
It came to mind again, that a person can either choose to roll around in the pain and misery and become accustomed to the smell and taste of it…even come to like it… or they can choose to get past it. \u00a0I chose to move forward, even though it felt like I wasn’t moving at \u00a0all sometimes. \u00a0I kept at least some forward momentum…still do. \u00a0What’s the difference? \u00a0Why do some move forward and others sit down and waste precious time? \u00a0I don’t know. \u00a0Maybe I have more patience than some. \u00a0Maybe I have what it takes to stick with a goal until I reach it. \u00a0Maybe I’m just stubborn or stupid! or maybe I know if I don’t do it, nobody will. \u00a0Not sure. \u00a0But clearly, it’s good idea to put as much distance between us and catastrophe as we can. \u00a0And whether you call it pain or anger or disaster or WHATEVER, it must be shaken off. \u00a0Otherwise you allow a person with no character to ruin yours. \u00a0If it is such a horrible thing to have someone throw us away, why in God’s name would we want to languish on the trash heap?<\/p>\n
People are adaptable. \u00a0And we can<\/em> adapt to garbage too (think hoarder). \u00a0Be aware of that and shake that s*$t off. \u00a0Keep walking through that valley and WIN! \u00a0We’re all grown up now. \u00a0Nobody’s going to come and lift us out. \u00a0We have to do it ourselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There is another obstacle thrown away women face and which I haven’t really talked about: Anger. \u00a0For some of us it remains just below the surface and for others it rages right out in the open for everyone to see. … Continue reading