It has been a long time since I was thrown away, and I’m not so sure I wasn’t supposed to be ‘disappeared’. In reality, I think I was. I was traumatized in a way that took a decade to get through. I suffered from post traumatic stress syndrome and completely lost my ability to think clearly. It was excruciating navigating my way back to a place of healing. It took a LONG time, but now I’m better able to think clearly and more importantly, to see the signs. They’re everywhere.
We live in a time when fidelity is not the goal anymore. Not even on the radar. Marriage vows are superfluous and should be just done away with. NOBODY means what they spend HOURS trying to create for that ‘special day’. Our society has decided that going to the lowest, basest point available is the way to go. Pathetic. We are not animals, but the ‘mainstream’ wants us to be and maybe the new generations want to be, more-so than the previous ones.. I’ve always felt like being able to control one’s basic instincts…animal instincts…is one of the things that SEPARATES us from animals. But pornography is big business and keeping it in the forefront is lucrative, for them and for divorce attorneys…and morticians these days. So now even toothpaste adds are soft porn many times. So, there are plenty of men going to sex addiction meetings, supposedly in an effort go shake off the damage porn does. It doesn’t work, by the way. Look at the stats. If your husband is a porn addict, just leave…while you can, that is.
Men don’t realize how easily women can pick up on heavy porn use by the husband. It changes men in myriad ways, not the least of which is that it pulls them inside themselves. I’ve read that men only reach out to women in connecting ways to get sex, and once they get it online, they have no need to connect with us. I’ve LIVED that and I know it to be true. And it leads to infidelity, always. The only saving grace, the only balancing of the universe for the thrown away wives, is that the cheating women…who know the man is married…end up with a cheater and a liar, and they go through the same thing WE went through, only an order of magnitude worse, as the addiction flourishes. The cheating women don’t know they are just a vessel, an element of the man’s sex addiction…but they find out soon enough. And I have to say that in my situation, I had to smile about what this person was getting herself into, because she worked VERY hard to take my life from me, not knowing she was getting a mess of a human being… and it ended badly, by the way. Did that give me an element of satisfaction? You bet your ass it did.
What is puzzling to me is how much society has given up on the desire to have some level of integrity. Cheating is wrong. I don’t care how good it makes your body parts feel, it’s wrong. But it is becoming normal, or maybe HAS become normal.
A LOT of men are willing to DESTROY many lives for nothing more than friction, if you just look at the unadulterated act. And women can NOT understand the difference between lust and love. How many times have you heard a man say that he saw her and immediately fell in love. NO. He saw her and immediately fell in LUST. Fine, men, go ahead with that base behavior. I think that’s probably how you are wired, in a fundamental ‘visual’ way. It’s the women I am focused on, because we are the ones getting killed, dismembered, burned, destroyed.
Women, you had better control YOUR urges enough to think about the difference between love and lust. You LIFE may depend on it. My God, I see so many news items and youtube videos about missing women and shortly following, arrest photos of the husbands trying to look pitiful, and then the court proceedings and the conviction. Women, if you are not prepared for this crap, you might end up in a shallow grave.
You need to know that, because the divorce rate is so high; and because society condones cheating, chances are it will happen to you. You will be LUCKY if divorce is the course, rather than murder. Murder is becoming ‘popular’ in place of divorce and child support.
What is the solution? There’s not one. The only things you can do is LEARN the difference between lust and love, and take the time to see what your new ‘love’ is ACTUALLY feeling, and then for God’s sake, learn about narcissism. Oh that’s HUGE. A narcissist ONLY wants you for what you can GIVE them or DO for them, and once they have all they need from you (usually money and property), you have ZERO value to them and they are not wired to feel ANYTHING for you…hence the shallow grave I mentioned.
Let me say that again: A narcissist has NO feelings for you; they are just good actors. If you don’t believe me, go to youtube and watch some videos about it. It’ll scare the shit out of you.
It seems simple, but it’s not. Once you get hormones involved, women, you are an easy target for predators. Why? Because we thrive on intimacy. Guess what men thrive on. If you have a brain, just use it.
Finally, let me just say that karma IS a bitch; what goes around really DOES come around. The saying that “no good can come of this” is true. There’s always a trail of scorched earth behind men who elect to dig into illicit affairs that destroy a family or two. Just check it out. You will find that to be true.
It makes me angry when men kill women over an affair. Really mad. But I am encouraged that convictions are happening WITHOUT the body of the murdered wives. That might help a little bit. But women, be smart. Keep your finances separate, set up a secret account so you can survive if this crap happens in your life. And GET A FREAKING JOB. Have an income you can rely on and which will, at least for now, produce social security. And if you are near, in or past menopause, sleep with one eye open. Unless your husband is not a narcissist.