Get Busy!

Okay, another thrown away wife has come on the scene.  Big surprise.  It’s the way of the world.

This one actually believes her husband, who says he “needs some space”.  GOD in Heaven.

LISTEN UP.  Men do not “need space”.  They are usually the first ones to say “I love you” so they can capture a woman. They are children in grown bodies who need mommies.  The ONLY reason they EVER say they “need space” is so they can screw ANOTHER WOMAN.  GET that through your head.  IF YOUR HUSBAND TELLS YOU HE NEEDS SPACE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!  Can I be any clearer than that??

This woman is sitting around doing nothing, waiting for her husband to come to his senses.  He controls every single dime of the marital assets, and has asked her to leave so he can have space.  HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY SENSES TO COME TO.   Worse, she is living in someone else’s home, not working, not helping around the house, not doing ANYTHING to help herself.  NOT GOOD.

This woman may be beyond help; maybe she has always been a lump…although I hear she has a college degree and used to be pretty snappy.  But YOU GUYS reading this…will you just get it through your head that the LIKELIHOOD that your husband cheats on you is HUGE.  Read the statistics!  And if he is middle aged, get ready to be thrown away.  TOO BAD, TRUE!  There is a statistical likelihood that he will dump you for a younger woman.   By the way, “getting ready” to be dumped does not mean sitting down and defending the asshole.  You had better know that he will do almost ANYTHING to get rid of you when he is in heat. Some men KILL their wives.  That should TELL YOU SOMETHING!  Listen, you have never seen such a hard hearted, cold, evil persona than a husband caught in an affair and believing he is trapped with HIS WIFE.  IT    IS   FRIGHTENING  to see the change that comes over these “men”.   Believe this:  At that point they would just as soon see you dead.  You had better know this.

Take money out of the account, open one of your own, HIRE A LAWYER and keep moving.  If you sit down and do nothing,  you will first of all be screwed to the wall by your soon-to-be-ex-husband, and second, you will face financial ruin.  Chances are, your husband has already funneled money out of the account like mine did.  Do NOT expect these guys to have ANY regard for your wellbeing.  When they are in heat, all of the blood leaves their teensy little pea brain and goes to the other teensy little part of their body that somehow makes them think they’re wonderful.  They’re not.  Every bit of the thinking and work they do is to figure out how to GET RID OF YOU, and give what you worked for to another woman.  Now if that doesn’t piss you off and make you want to get MOVING, I don’t know what will.  I really don’t.

As much as this happens I cannot BELIEVE how dumb women can be.  I know, you want to trust your husband and you should trust him….UNTIL HE TELLS YOU HE NEEDS SOME SPACE!  I know you are in shock, I know you are traumatized!  But that does NOT mean you can sit down and wait to be destroyed….unless you WANT to be destroyed.  If that’s true, I can’t help you at all.

A note to remember:  If you are not willing to do something to help yourself, don’t expect anyone ELSE to want to help you.  Initial attorney consults are often free.  USE ONE!  And if by some miracle he comes back (I wouldn’t let him NEAR me), you can always reverse the work you’ve done to protect yourself from him.  I’d sleep with one eye open anyway.

Feeling Unworthy

A common theme among throwaways, is a feeling that we will be alone for the rest of our lives.  It makes us sad and a little bit scared, and we know we don’t deserve to be in this situation. We are better than that.  We simply got older.  That isn’t a crime, but you really couldn’t prove it by us. So…let’s look at this stuff for a minute.  What are we really missing here?

Women say they can’t have relationships anymore (they are wrong).  They can, but the problem is that we are wounded, deeply, and we are not going to believe every guy who hits on us. Not gonna happen.  We want proof of character…and that’s all but impossible to find.  Men in our generation feel (wrongly) entitled and they want mommies, not a partner. I think we should all step to the sidelines, cross our arms, tilt our head back a bit and just study men.  Detach, analyze, have fun with it.  I mean really, this stuff makes you laugh if you just step back and study it.

I think there are two reasons (at least) throwaways feel worthless.  One is that we feel a deep and abiding feeling of being unwanted by society. There’s no better way to make a person feel worthless than to throw them away like garbage.  This event in our lives destroys something fundamental to our self worth that takes years to rebuild. I’m not sure it can ever BE rebuilt, but I refuse to give up on myself.  Why?  Because I’m freaking awesome, that’s why.  Working against us is the second reason:  Women in their fifties and sixties are in the ‘donut hole’ of relationships’.  Bear with me here.  Analyze.

If you get the ad emails trying to get you to date online, you see hundreds of men our age looking for “love” (don’t get me started).  But men 67 years old list the age of their perfect mate at “35-45”.  God, that makes me laugh. Who exactly do they think they are?  I mean, look at some of the pictures!  Sometimes I can’t delete that stuff fast enough to avoid NIGHTMARES. But the point is that men our age are not interested in us.  They are not interested in us because they are not looking for love; they are looking to get LAID.  BIG DIFFERENCE.  And good luck with that.  What 35 year old ‘woman’ in her right mind would seek out a 65 year old man anyway?  Oh god, you really need to look at some of these men!  Oh I love the ones with hats.  The hat ones are REALLY scary.

WE on the other hand, are looking for someone mature and intelligent enough to INTEREST us.  We are looking for QUALITY, substance, ACTUAL maturity.  We don’t need someone to cook for, clean up after, to provide sexual release for (God, it never ends)  We are looking for quality.

Oh here’s one I love.  “I love to dance and go to night spots”.  AT AGE 72?  Really?  What business does a 72 year old have in a bar? I have wine at home.  And its cheaper and better.  Ladies, are you analyzing?  Do you really miss this crap?

I think about how I would write one of those profiles for a dating site and I get a headache. I want to say, “First, don’t take a picture of you and your dog.  That just proves you are needy. Second, try not to look like a serial killer!  And stop lying about your age.  Also, don’t ask for a fit and toned, feminine (likes to wear skirts) woman when you look like you just got up from a nap.  Comb your hair, stop taking selfies in your BATHROOM…better yet stop taking selfies altogether!  Oh and ponytails on an old guy do not look good.  Not to me and not to a 35 year old.  Grooming: Look it up.”

What do you think?  Think I could get a date?

NO!  I don’t think that would go over really well.  If I said, “I can cook really well and I can’t wait to wash your underwear” I’d have more dates than I knew what to do with.  NOOOO thank you.

Maybe I should say, “I can whip your ass on the golf course.”  Hmm…maybe I will be alone for the rest of my life. Oh well, more wine for me and HIS loss.  Are you following me here, ladies?  Pick yourself up and remember who you are.  You are strong, you are funny, you are smart, you are fiscally responsible, you are a good person. That’s why the jackass TARGETED YOU.  Get yourself back, FIND YOURSELF again.

Listen, girls, these assholes who threw us away were not worthy of us to BEGIN with and they KNOW it.  Don’t let them take away your self worth; don’t let the jerks keep you from enjoying your life!  They are parasites, they have no integrity, they are liars and cheaters and swindlers. Is that someone you want to sacrifice your happiness for?  NO.  Let me help you with that.  NO!

We will survive this.  We will have ups and downs, but when all is said and done, we are honest, good, quality people.  Let’s try to remember that.