I spent a lot of time on the phone today with another thrown away wife.  She is in the throes of asset distribution, and calls me when she it trying to keep the emotion out and logic in.  I remember those days.  I remember the emotional conflict within my soul, because I was feeling every emotion on the list and couldn’t think straight.  She’s doing better than she realizes, though, better than I did.

I made up my mind years ago that I would help women any way I can when they are in this terrible place, and each time it makes me think about how human we all are, and how some of us are happily driven by urges, rather than by intelligent, sensible thinking.  What separates us from animals is our higher brain functions, the ones that make us NOT animals and therefore not subject to control by urges (one would hope).  In other words, men, we are NOT animals.  You are not an animal and by God you don’t get to have it both ways, not with smart women.  Grow up.  Have some pride and self respect.  Be worthy of the women you set out to destroy.

If you listen to pure science rhetoric, or philosophical rhetoric, you hear that men have a natural urge to plant their ‘seed’.  That sentiment makes me want to puke, because it’s an excuse.  Men have an urge. Oh boo hoo.  So do dogs.  So do birds; so do cats; so do snakes.  And here’s another clue for you.  Women have an URGE too, to nurture, to seek out the strongest specimens, to mate with the fittest and THEN, wait for it…to move on to ANOTHER fine specimen.  Oh yeah.  That’s OUR urge.  Once we reproduce with a man we’re “naturally” done with that guy.  Our sexual attraction to that guy fades NATURALLY, and we have the “urge” to move on to the next specimen that trips our trigger.  It’s to keep variety in the gene pool.  Oh you know I’m right.  How many married men whine about how they’re not ‘getting any’.  It’s all natural guys!  Just following our urges. You know, like you do.

SO.  Hello men, women have URGES too.  But many of us actually control them so we can keep on washing your clothes and cooking your meals and LOVING you for more than just the process of reproduction.  Oh, and just so you know?  The “planting of the seed” urge is FOR reproduction; it’s not to make you feel good.  It feels good so you will reproduce.  I know; you couldn’t care less.

What I’m getting at here is that while many people do not believe in monogamy, it IS possible, but it involves intelligent control of “urges” on BOTH sides.  In other words, keep your pants on and stop trolling around for extra-marital sexual stimulation.  OR STOP ASKING WOMEN TO MARRY YOU.  It’s that simple!  If you want to be with a gazillion women (fat chance) then stay single.  And this is a waste of time because the serial cheaters want two things: to feel good and to take your life away from you.

And here’s an interesting tidbit.  Men who got you to marry them so they could own you?  They will not sustain their “charm” when the lust subsides and life settles in.  And it’s that ‘charm’ that made you choose them, be attracted to them.  So they turn off the charm and what happens?  Listen. You can hear married men whining.  But it’s not about them. It’s about both.  The animals don’t want ‘both’, don’t get it, never will get it.  Ya gotta learn how to spot the dogs, the parasites.

Men who throw away women because they are serial cheaters…too nice a term…KNOW they are wrong, that what they are doing is hurting someone who loved them, but they need good women to give them a sense that THEY are good.  And ultimately they are actually looking for a mommy.  Sorry guys.  True.  They are stunted psychologically and they need a mommy to take care of them and to blame for all of their bad behavior.  With these guys, if you know what to look for you can spot the boy in man clothing.  And you can determine their psychological age. I met a ten year old seventy year old recently.  Kid you not.  Was ten when he was ten, was ten when he was seventy, will be ten when he dies.  And boy did he hate me when he knew I saw the ‘real’ him.  It was actually kind of funny.

Cheater men get to attach their sorry butts to good women and hang on until they destroy every good thing in that woman’s life…before they throw her away.  They know they will do it before they do, they know it while they are doing it, and they know it when they cheat and turn on their wife.  They know, and they do it anyway.  And society lets them get away with destroying us financially.  Because they do that too. It’s part of their game.  That’s why SO many women who owned their own homes and were financially secure wind up homeless, scrambling to try to find a place again.  Steam is coming out of my ears.  The woman I talked with today is desperately trying to keep her home!  And the cheater is heartless and trying to hurt her MORE. Which is what they do.  It’s just what they do.

So listen up women.  Please pay attention to these guys and be smart about things.  Learn about how they spend their spare time (is it trolling for sex online or otherwise, for example).  See if they value you for more than an orifice.  See if they EVER care how you feel or here’s a good one….what you THINK about things.  Why did their previous marriage fail?  Here’s the answer:  They cheated.  Don’t sell your house.  Don’t give them money.  Don’t pay their bills.  CALL THE EX and get her side of the story.  If their hobby is their computer?  You know what I’m going to say.  And remember, two of the main characteristics of these guys is charm and the ability to manipulate you.

Relationships between human beings are complex, difficult and beautiful.  Relationships between human women and male dogs?  IMPOSSIBLE.  I don’t care what scientists say about seed planting. It’s an excuse for men to behave like dogs.  Don’t buy it. If women can control our urges, so can men.  Period.  Otherwise, it’s easy.  Stay single.  This is not rocket science.

I hear that it takes ten hears to come out of this valley.  You’ve heard me say that before.  God, I hate it that I’m only in year six.  But it does get better emotionally.  It hasn’t gotten better financially, but I do feel better.  There’s hope.  But each time I touch one of my fellow thrown away wives, some of their desperation and sadness transfers to me, takes me back.  I hate it for them, wish I could take away some of their pain, make them feel better.  But it’s a solo journey and you have to walk each step one by one.  You have to walk through it and survive it.  And nobody sees this coming.  Except the creeps doing the damage.  And that’s a real shame.

I hear that there are good men out there.  Right now, I have serious doubts about that.  The world has changed and you’ve heard me say this too.  Women are becoming…AGAIN…objects.  Our rights are being negated again and we are going backwards in time.  All we can do is be careful whom we open our hearts to.  Because it is our hearts we are concerned with.  Men on the prowl for a host use that fact to their advantage.  So be careful and don’t sell your assets.  Don’t marry ANYBODY until you know their background.  These guys with what I call the ‘sh*#head syndrome’ are everywhere.  I can spot them from a mile away now.  They are always prowling and they ALWAYS want a wife.  It’s how they make part of their living…by taking your assets.

I’m watching it play out again.  And this girl does NOT deserve what she’s going through.


Just One More Thing…

I know that my blog isn’t sexy and modern.  But I ask you to remember this about me.  My goal here is to provide women who have been thrown away, with some insight into the process of survival.  I want women to know they are not alone, that there are thousands out here just like them, feeling the same feelings, thinking the same thoughts, fighting the same battles financially and socially.  It’s about a very important social phenomenon.  It’s about how the world treats women who are no longer sexy.  It’s about how it’s A-Okay with society for us to be thrown into poverty and discriminated against more than any other group.  ANY other group.  That’s what this blog is about.

So no, you won’t see widgets and pictures or hear music playing.  That’s not important to me.  I am not trying to create an ‘experience’ for my readers.  I’m not trying to be popular or compete for the most followers. I’m sharing information.  Period.  And that’s me:  Straight to the point.

My readers, the ones who want to follow me, will be looking for answers, not pictures.  My followers will be desperate to know they can survive, not wanting to listen to music.  My followers, the ones I reach out to, think they will die, that they can never survive this.  They are not the least bit interested in widgets.

So, if you think I need that stuff, then share it with me. DO NOT solicit for money.  I don’t have it.  And if you read ANYTHING I write you know I will not tolerate predators, not for money or security, or my home or anything else.  I have been used and thrown away.  I’ve given everything I have to give and gotten thrown away for it.  If you think this blog would be better by adding something, tell me what that is and share how to do it…for NO COMPENSATION.  Then I know you get it.  Otherwise you go into spam.

And just so you know, I think the blog is fine.  Its my thoughts in writing.  My brain doesn’t need pictures.  It does fine without them.

Missing Laughter

One of my gifts is a good sense of humor.  I’m quick witted, and am told it takes intelligence to pull that off well.  I don’t claim any kudos for that.  I was born that way, so it’s natural for me…or used to be.  I jokingly say, though, that if I come back to this world again, I want a smaller IQ and a bigger breast size.  Then I will never be alone.  Intelligent, strong women have a harder time of it, I’m convinced.  So the “next” me should exist in ignorant bliss.

And don’t assume for a minute that I’m not a women’s rights champion.  I am.  But I live in a world rapidly sliding backwards into women being nothing but objects.  And I vehemently rebel against that.  I am comfortable standing toe to toe with any smart guy.  And I might beat them at golf too.  And I dare them to think of me as nothing but an orifice.  But once you lose sex appeal, you have no value.  Sorry: True.  That’s okay with me, by the way.  I’m done with trying to make men feel good about themselves.  That shouldn’t be my job.

Intelligence may have its advantages.  I’ve enjoyed being intelligent, being in the upper echelon of intelligence as they say.  I’ve had insights many people miss, and I’ve stumped a lot of ‘bright’ people.  Out of curiosity, I ask questions which to me are just clarifying questions, and I get the blank stare back.  And I often hear, “Nobody’s ever asked that before”.  Well okay.  But the flip side is that in the girlfriend world, things I want to talk about are definitely NOT the usual girl gathering topics of conversation.  I guess I’m a misfit.  My favorite topics are golf and the stock market.  Well there you go.

I awoke this morning at about 2 am, which happens a lot, due to stress, and the first thought I realized was, “I miss laughing”.  I used to laugh all the time.  ALL the time.  Sometimes that first thought, which in my case rushes through my consciousness, gives heavy insight into my condition, or things I need to work on, or what’s really at the root of issues.  So I pay attention.  I know laughter is the “best medicine”; and maybe it’s not the laughter itself, but the circumstance under which it happens, that makes it important.

Thrown Away Wives often end up very alone.  We end up alone because our husbands throw us away and our family abandons us. Well remember, I told you about that ten year statute of limitations on that abandonment, so we’ll see.  In four years maybe my “family” will come back. What remains to be seen is whether I will want them back.  What do you think?  Would you want people in your life who abandon you when you are most broken?  Seems like a no-brainer to me.  Andddd there’s the thinking again.  A lower IQ person would just rush back in.  Me?  I have to think about that.  And the answer is no.  Forgive?  Yes.  Hang out?  Nope.

I am a real estate agent, so I am around people all the time, and I attend my church regularly, so I am around thousands of people, regularly, in that venue.  But in the grand scheme of things, I am alone in the universe.  Feels like I am loosely tethered, but never engaged.  That’s a terrible feeling, and it wakes me up at 1, 2, 3 in the morning, sometimes in the midst of a panic.  Your subconscious mind works all the time and it’s undeniable that mine works HARD.  Sometimes those 2am thoughts come through as shouts, sometimes just a comment (not voices in my head, but thoughts…relax); but I’ve said before, many times, that I am determined to survive this situation into which I was thrown.  So my subconscious has its marching orders.  Work this out; solve this problem.  And it gives me things to write about, to share with you.  If I don’t know anything else, I know there are hundreds, if not thousands of you, who can relate.

It’s the venue for laughter that makes it the best medicine, because in order for it to happen, there have to be others around and you have to be engaged, plugged in.  In other words laughing at a TV show doesn’t count.  The key is the ‘gathering’ part.  When you are tossed out of your life and things familiar to you at senior part of life, it’s just harder to reinvent that wheel.  And at the time of life when you should be retiring, your need to clump with others goes down.  It’s a conundrum.  Sometimes it’s just easier to go to bed early, you see?  I’m chuckling.  Life is never dull.

So…I find myself becoming more and more isolated, in spite of the fact that I know I need to be around people with whom I can engage.  Prolonged depression or sadness, takes a lot out of you in terms of energy to reach out.  That’s not good.  So my next task is to make a plan, set a goal, to reach out and get together with people at least once a week.  Lunch with a friend, invite a friend to dinner, things like that.  And I’m already thinking that once a week might be too much.

See what I mean?

See you soon…

Letting It Go (Yeah, Right)


I read an article on the Yahoo news feed, that a woman who killed her cheating lying husband and his cheating lying mistress is of course in prison, and was denied parole because she was assessed as still having “pent up anger” (It’s been twenty years).  She has been deemed a threat to society.  STILL!! Uh, somebody should let the parole board know that the anger she experienced sticks to you forever.  It never goes away (clearly).  We just learn how to be quiet about it.  Right ladies?  So either the parole board needs to learn how to deal with women like this (aka get a clue), or just sentence life without parole and be done with it!  But again, we see the “get over it; move on” mentality of the clueless.

Listen, this woman was dismissed from her life.  She has a RIGHT to be angry and STAY angry about that because her life was stolen from her and she will NE-VER-GET-IT-BACK.  This is NOT rocket science.  Anger can be a good thing if it keeps you safe from predators who hurt you.  But righteous anger doesn’t make you a danger to society.  Has ANYBODY watched the news lately?  We need WAY more prisons if righteous anger is a jail-worthy offense.  It is not.  It is how we force CHANGE in this messed up society.  You have to be very loud and very angry to get ANYTHING done.

As I say in my blog and said in my book, this trend of men throwing away their wives…INTO POVERTY…and getting away with it IS GOING to result in more men being killed.  They are killing us by the minute.  Watch the news.  Oh, another missing wife and another cheating lying man on camera saying she ran off with another man. Please. Are these men really THAT stupid? Well yes they are.  First of all, ONE man is enough for most of us. Why would we “run away” with another one?  AND THE CHEATING LYING MURDERERS ALWAYS GET CAUGHT.  And the wife is still dead.  Somebody should be pissed off about this; SOCIETY should be pissed off.

Well, I say two things.  First, this poor thing needs to stop throwing her anger around the prison.    There comes a time to not talk about it and focus on happy things, like how to make a living at old age, and how to find a place to LIVE that’s not made of CARDBOARD.  After all, the true targets of her anger are long since dead.  If we were in the Middle East that wouldn’t be a crime…not for the cheating lying mistress anyway.  Hell, the MEN would kill her.

And second, the only ones in danger are cheating lying men who try to hurt her.   Okay, I can see how the parole board was thinking.  If you consider cheating lying men part of society, as opposed to, say, scourge of the Earth, then yeah, she’s a threat.  But I can promise you, this woman is not a threat.  In fact, she has no idea how hard it’s going to be once she does get out.  Life is no fun for women over fifty who have been thrown away.  Like I said, more likely to be struck by lightning and in fact, a lightning strike would be easier and less painful.  Trust me on that one.

Now, let’s assume this woman gets out in a few years.  Maybe she will read my blog or my book, and realize some strategy.  IF by chance she got into a relationship or had a close brush with one, let me ASSURE you, she would not choose a cheating lying LITTLE BOY; she knows what to look for now.  So society is safe.  And she can’t have a gun anymore anyway.  She’s a felon now and everybody knows felons can’t have guns ever again.

I have to admit, the twenty year part gave me pause.  I thought, God, is this never going to end? I cannot imagine me being so angry that people would view me as a threat….after twenty years. I’m formidable.  I will forevermore be formidable, but I’m not a threat.  Maybe the guy I ran off with his tail between his legs thinks I’m a threat.  But I didn’t shoot at him.  I didn’t even throw knives or rocks!  I think I’m okay on that.  We’ll see how it goes as time goes by.  I would enjoy chucking some rocks though.  I mean, it’s only been six years for me.  I’m a good aim too.  I bet I could knock a lying cheat off his feet.

EVERY once in a while I get a bit sarcastic about this phenomenon, have you noticed?  But what these cheating lying men do to us women is WORTHY of anger and we should have the right to go NINJA on their asses at least once without penalty.  And she should be able to tell the parole board that and not have it thrown back on her.  If they build a parole board of women over fifty, she’ll get out RIGHT NOW.  And think about it.  She’s been in prison twenty years?  Her only weapon is probably her cane.  Too bad about that.