If you need a hand…

Hi.  I’m trying to learn how to do this, just because I know how painful it is to be thrown away.  I have met so many of us, middle aged women who thought we were married until ‘death do us part’, and never saw the end bearing down on us.

Our society has crafted a name for the men who heartlessly throw us away, or even KILL us, because they see the back side of the hill and they can’t handle it.  It’s called “midlife crisis” or male menopause.  But it’s not either of them.  It’s ruthless and it destroys the women whom they throw away like so much garbage.

I thought I would die, didn’t think I would survive the heartache, the embarrassment, the humiliation, and the loss of everything I worked for my whole life.  But I have…so far.  Along the way, I have met so many of us.  We sound so similar, our stories so much alike that it’s as though we married the same guy.  I call it the butthead syndrome, only I use a stronger word sometimes.

Some of the thrown away wives I talked to, interviewed for my book ultimately, had been ten years past the event…and they still cried, still felt the pain that nearly destroyed them.  Some turned to alcohol, some withdrew from the world, some just cried their way through in a trance.  Others died.  Others did themselves in because they couldn’t handle it and some were killed; you see that on the news ALL the time.

Women have become a commodity again.  We have lost the ground we gained during the women’s movement and I think it’s time we unite and figure out how to make this nice little ‘crisis’ men have created something they have to pay for.  They want to be with younger women.  If that’s who they are, then fine.  But lets figure out how to NOT be the ones whose lives are ended because of a lack of integrity on the part of our husband.

So my goal will be to give you some pointers about what you will face and some idea about what to do to protect yourself.  I’m no expert; I muddled my way through and only learned the consequences too late.  Maybe you can plan ahead and protect your assets, even your life, better than I did.  So bear with me as I learn this process.  Meanwhile, please feel free to comment and add your experiences so others can see that we are NOT alone.  I think together we can be strong and help one another.